Secrets

Lord, if the highest heavens cannot contain your glory
Surely you can fill this heart, that is hurting

You sit on the swing with me on days when I can't find myself,
as we look over the view.
Your point to the horizon and say, "I am the bright and morning star. I've found you, now just follow me!"

And the secrets start spilling, like long-withered flowers
from my unwilling lips, because you knew there was more behind the tears
You always knew.
Of how he was never there to hold me, or offer a hand, or plant kisses
how I don't know what it feels like to be touched by him, except on that angry night

of the fairytale cage she placed me in, long after i stopped believing in them
never letting me in on her world, never stepping into mine

of how angry, profane rap music was my only escape because my heart didn't know how to exhale anymore

secrets
that show everyday,

when i can''t meet his eyes,
and the smile struggles to form,
and the heart breaks over and over and over
over the very same things

Lord, i can't hold them as secrets anymore, and I know
that you've known.
And I know, that I've grown

So teach me to cast forgotten flowers at the feet of the One who
remembers everything,
whose gentle hands were nailed violently
to free me from my past
whose gentle hands reached, for mine

I know I've looked across the seas and nations
to raise a battlecry and charge in the frontlines

but you've been sitting me down to look at this view,
that i turned my back on years ago
saying,
"Love, the restoration must first start here."

So I'll walk these splintered floors,
and retrace the peeling paint with my fingertips
with you,
watching you pour heaven over the old,
piece by piece, room by room
until sunlight spills from the cracks, and I can finally walk out with you.

Healing rain is falling down,
I'm not afraid.