The Tent Moment

8/17/09


i hate how my humanity gets in the way
so many times
so that both my eyes are patched up and i'm just
stumbling through this place 


like putting my God in my
box just like i put
everything else in my life, like i got my keys
my cash my phone numbers and he's like
desperation hotline or
backup song when i've got time in this life 


saying his name like he's just another possession of mine 


what a fool i am 


so i shut my mouth and fall on my knees to hear his breath
the same one that commanded light into darkness
to let those words sink in deeper than what the world has infused
to broken soil that will embrace this seed until His magnificence
grows and covers all of me
an oak of righteousness to stand in thunderstorms 


if only, Lord
that you would take all of me because this heart is wretched in the deepest sense
but it's dying to let you operate
what have i got?
and who am i, without you? 


you see the fire in my soul for the things of this earth
its people and every heart that will die chained
you know my passion and what the electricity looks like under my skin
and tonight i'm standing on the edge of endless, and my heart is pounding 


may your words come alive
may my eyes be open to the world you have created
may my mind be unlocked to understand the mysteries of the gospel of Christ 


to understand 


because satan keeps dumbing us down with the world system, like
how many hours in a day do we really think about things anymore but i want to
know
and feel 


the weight of water and what it means to the ladybug and
see the flight that hope takes across darkened skies, this hope that
is so inexplicable, found in
the athiest and the ascetic, all men alike 


i want to walk like funk beats are pulsating through me because
if the Joy of the Lord exists then i'm expecting
much more than smiles and high wishes, no i'm expecting
a revolution 


to dance like the love of God is real i mean
if i really, truly believe that you knit me together fearfully and wonderfully
and that you move the paths of the constellations and the waves then
what kind of limitation can i put on the way you make
this body accentuate? i want to fly. 


and i know i was born into this world and i'm talking like
i'm crazy but what else can you do when the God of the universe
falls in love with you?
you expect dinner at a shack?
some out-of-tune serenades and text messages throughout the day? 


he will blow your mind away.
but if you're always canceling
dinner reservations, and not picking up the phone
and going on other dates
how will you read the heart of the one who filled the sea? 


i'm expecting to have my tent moment 


you know the tent moment? 


like, Peter thinking Jesus is pretty awesome already,
healing the sick and turning water into wine
until he gets taken up the mountain with James and John.
to see Jesus transfigured and enveloped by glory upon glory,
hearing God's voice come out of a cloud to affirm his new friend,
who he just confessed as the Christ, who is having a conversation
with Elijah and Moses. 


Rabbi, it is good for us to be here. Let us put up three shelters-- one for you, one for Moses and one for Elijah. (He did not know what to say, they were so frightened.) Mark 9:5-6 


And all Peter has ever known
was fish.
the texture of fish, the taste of fish,
how to reel the quick ones in, how to wait in the water
everyday out fishing, making his living, living in that boat 


until Jesus called him. 

Come, follow me, and I will make you fishers of men. 


Don't think Peter even knew what that meant but he dropped his nets cause
there was something about that man, and i don't think he knew 


that he'd be walking across the very waters he used to stare at for hours
that he'd be feeding five thousand people with two fish and five loaves
that he would be the Rock that Jesus built his church upon,
that 2,000 years later some Chinese girl would be writing a poem about him,
all he knew was fish. 


And all i knew were the plans laid out for me in this American dream,
and the ground beneath my feet and the tension in my chest until 


i met him.
and he's still saying, follow me, so i'm going to follow
cause i've tasted the wine that once was water,
and seen him calm the storm when i was clinging at the sail
and i know i was meant to see him
face to face
and give him my love everyday, letting him carry me
from glory to glory,
straight to Victory. 
 


mark this satan, 

this girl is dancing down the walls of Jericho.