Wrestling

i eat the sin
i drink the sin
i chew the sin
i buy the sin 


i dream the sin
i want the sin
i love the sin 


i hate the sin. 
 


hate, abhor, loathe
for this is not who i was meant to be.

this body,
with over one billion nerves
and all its systems and organs and cells 


all for a 9-5 job and artificial relations?
high speed connection and riches? 


the world tells me this body is made for
the butcher's knife, made for men's pleasure to use and misuse
that this voice is to carry out biting and obscene phrases to defend and win
that these feet are to be constantly on the go, A to B, every higher on the ladder to success, never stopping
that these eyes should consume entertainment and stare into radiation for hours, looking elsewhere only to judge or to steal
that these hands take only for myself, tied to the tool day and night 


sin calls to me and i fall easily but
i think about the intricacy of my frame, and my Maker's
craftsmanship and will not stand for the lies any longer
the moment i met you i knew
that this body was meant to be living in
freedom
to be used for dancing and praising
this voice to carry out symphonies and speak the words of Jesus who moved mountains and healed the sick
these feet to beautiful like he who brought the good news, the gospel of peace
of Christ crucified
these eyes to admire and appreciate his creation, every single thing,
these hands to help the fallen and create mighty works 


this heart for you, and you alone